In MA, there are over 7000 kids in foster care, and less than 3000 foster homes. Social workers affirm that a strong foster home is the most valuable resource for these children. Foster families are resources available for placements of children on short notice, and often with very little information. They must be flexible, committed, and willing to work with all members of a child's case team, and with the child himself to ensure that his needs are met and that he is advocated for in medical, judicial, and social service arenas. In addition, it is deeply, perhaps chiefly, important that they can love, support, and offer stability to a child in need.
Even when strong foster homes are recruited and trained, they may quit within a short time. Some foster parents report feeling unsupported by their communities, and by one another. Fostering is a difficult and often frustrating endeavor. Of course, it is also amazingly rewarding, as you change a child's life by offering them a safe place to heal and grow strong. Nationwide, the need for these homes it mounting, while their number dwindles. Especially in this time of economic crisis, pressure to find and keep strong foster families is intense.
They are children from age newborn to 18, boys and girls, of all races. All have experienced some degree of neglect and/or abuse that has made it necessary for them to be removed from their home until such time as the biological family can stabilize itself to the point that the child can return home safely, until relatives come forward to care for the child, or until permanent placements- such as an adoptive home- can be found.
Some kids have experienced trauma that has led to behavioral issues, and will need more guidance to feel comfortable and secure in a foster home. However, many kids in foster care are just like any other kid, except that they desperately need a loving, safe, temporary home.
They are married, partnered, or single. They may be at home or work full time. They are of all races, ethnicities, and sexual orientations. A foster parent must pass a criminal background check, undertake training by the state, and have room in their home and their heart for a child (or children!) in need.
What will Foster the Future do?
Foster the Future will work to recruit and support strong dedicated foster families. These families will be committed to creating "healing homes" for foster kids, homes that nurture children and allow them to grow and prepare themselves for their next step, be that returning home, going to relatives, or being adopted. Those families deserve out help, in the little things that make life just a bit easier. Things like helping a foster mom who just got another baby to buy a double stroller, or getting new linens for a foster child's bed, or giving a foster family whose child has just left their home a gift certificate for dinner, thanking them for loving and nurturing that child. Little things mean a lot.
We will also hold information sessions, be at local events, and otherwise be as visible as possible, to recruit more families.
I would also love to start a fund that would allow foster parents and foster kids to get a little money for "extras". Some kids would love music lessons, sports, and other activities but their foster families cannot afford them. Others would like to take foster kids on vacation with them, saving them the disruption of going into "respite" or short term foster care, but cannot afford an extra ticket. Little things like this make a huge difference!
Who is Charity Bell?
I am Charity Bell, a graduate student at the Kennedy school of public policy at Harvard University. Click here to read what the Boston Globe had to say about me in this 2002 article!
How did you start doing this?
Well, in 1997 I was a volunteer at New England Medical Center, a wonderful hospital in Boston with an amazing children's unit, The Floating Hospital. I would go in every week and read to kids, play games, and cuddle little ones. Many of the kids had chronic illnesses that required them to stay in the hospital for weeks, and parents were grateful to share the work of keeping little ones occupied with someone who was a lot less tired than they were. One Tuesady, I went in and heard shrieks from one room. "I know who needs a volunteer", I said to the nurse at the desk. She shook her head and pointed to the open door. I went in and saw a little face, swollen with crying, pressed up against the bars of a crib. A little girl, dark hair and chubby arms and legs, raised her arms. I lifted her up, and she immediately stopped crying. One thumb went into the mouth and a deep sigh escaped her as she laid her head on my shoulder. I did not flatter myself. She was at a point where Bigfoot would have gotten the same response. Anyone would do. I leaned over the crib to pick up a blanket and her nails dug into my shoulders, she thought I was putting her down and she was not going easily. "OK, sweetie, I am not putting you down… Relax…" I found a rocker and sat down, and I sang her little songs and talked aimlessly for about an hour. Then I found a video and we watched that. The nails dug back in each time I moved and as the time passed, I began to dread trying to leave. Finally it was 9PM. I had to go. I stood and carried her to the crib and she began to cry. I tried to put her down, but could not get loose. I called a nurse and together we got her into the crib. It was awful, awful, awful to walk down the hall hearing those shrieks, which I knew could be so easily stilled by my arms.
I was not due back for another week, but found myself there the next day. We repeated the scene 3 more times, and on Friday I finally asked one of the nurses, "I know this is not my business, but why is this little one here, all alone?" She sighed and said, "Well, we are all really grateful to you for coming each night, it has helped a bunch. She was admitted for a head injury that was caused by her parents, and they can't seem to locate a foster home for her." We shook our heads at the sorrow of it all and I left. I could not get her out of my head. Now, you don't know me, but if you did you would know I am by nature a "fixer". I see a problem and go immediately to work on a solution. So, Monday morning I called up DSS and said, "Listen, I work full time, and I am young, but I know about a little girl in the hospital that you can't find a foster home for. Now isn't there such thing as a short-term home? I could take vacation time, and I have friend who could help some days. How do I help this kid?" The woman on the phone explained that there was a whole process- a training, a background check, and a home study. She paused. "OK, sign me up", I told her.
"Sign me up". I should have it on a T-shirt. Anyway, I did the training and all the other stuff and eventually started as a "hotline" foster parent. Available for nights and weekends to take in a child in a dangerous situation. I got used to the phone ringing at 1 AM and hearing the voice of my favorite hotline supervisor. "Charity, good morning! It's Maida." Maida's voice usually brought me a bedraggled child, sometimes wearng nothing more than a hospital gown. I started haunting the clearance racks, knowing that almost everything would get worn by someone at somepoint.
A few months later, during which other children had come and gone, a tiny baby boy came for a "few days" which, due to a lack of foster homes, became three months. He was a drug-addicted 4-pound baby, watching him grow and stabilize was an amazing and exhausting experience. My friends called him "the baby that came to dinner" and have gradually accepted that this commitment, this service, was my calling. Now over 40 kids have come and gone. I remember each one of them, and when time came for them to go I cried, for I have loved each one of them as much as I would love a child that would be forever mine. In some ways perhaps more, for they need it more.
In opening my home to children who have suffered abuse and neglect, I offer those children safety and love even as I work to change the political and social landscape that allows so many children to fall so far before their families receive the help they so desperately need.
Some of you may know I am about to graduate from The Kennedy School of Government at Harvard! I am so pleased to have been able to attend this prestigious university and to gain skills and knowledge that will make me more effective in my work for foster kids in Massachusetts and nationwide. For more information on my time at Harvard, I hope that you will read the Good Housekeeping article, .
Don't you get attached?
Yes, and I think it is deeply important to the child development that I do. Children need to know that they are loved and cared for by the people who are charged with their day-to-day well-being. I know that there are those that may feel that it is confusing to the child, but I have never seen a child with problems from having been loved by too many people. I have seen literally dozens who have been damaged by not being loved enough.
I become deeply attached to every child I care for, even if it is only for a few weeks. I am amazed at how much love there is in each one of us, and more amazed at how children thrive and grow from being loved. From newborns to teens, every one needs to know that they are special, that they are important, and that they are loved by someone. I am proud to have been one of the people in each of my kids' lives who have loved them. I hope that I have helped them learn how to accept love and give it to someone else.
